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Boaring Uproar in Forest of Dean over ‘cruel or cool?’ cull question

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English: An actor dressed as Obelix in Roman M...

They might be good at killing boar, but these Gauls are crazy. No, seriously. This guy was sectioned moments after the photograph was taken.

The Forest of Dean has become the site of a new ecological row this week, after it emerged that authorities are planning a massive cull of the wild boar living there.

Many local residents welcome the Forestry Commission’s proposed cull, pointing to the damage boars have done to their property and community.

Dickie Head, head of the local residents association, Local Residents Association, said “This used to be a nice neighbourhood. Now there’s boar all over the place. They listen to loud music, they hang around street corners drinking, and petty thefts have gone up in the area 400%.

“They really lower the tone, with their mobile homes, and their dirty clothes, and their children are virtually illiterate.

“Just the other day, for example, I had a group of them come round and hint heavily that if I didn’t let them siphon my electricity to power the generator for their caravan, they were going to smash all my windows.”

But militant pig-friendly eco-activists, We ARE The Boars, have moved into the area to protect the animals.

Wendy Nailinthehead, spokesperson for WATB, said “We utterly oppose the taking of sentient life. Mankind must learn to be One with nature, to end the ceaseless and selfish cycle of violence, of killing and hurting, to get what he wants.

“Therefore we are going to kidnap, physically torture, and finally kill, the children of anyone who so much as looks at a boar the wrong way.”

Peter Rickets, environmental problem solver from the Agency for Environmental Problem Solving, said “I really don’t understand what the difficulty is here.  Just dress Eric Pickles up in an Obelix costume and let him loose in the forest. End of problem.”



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